A safe place
by crimsonxpain
Summary: A story about a fragile girl attending a safe place. Horizon. With a twist, the girl is me. Everything that happens to her is told from past experiences. She is me. I am her.FINISHED!
1. The news

bDisclaimer/b: I bdo not/b own any of these characters. They belong to Fox Family. Though I do own Shaye, Debbie and Joree.  
  
bEditors note: /b This is my first fan fiction, so don't hate. Lol. It is about me and what it would be like if I attended Horizon. Reviews are welcome, and appreciated. Tell me if you like it or hate it. What could make it better or what i'm doing wrong. Criticism helps. Thanks.  
  
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"You can't do this to me!!" Shaye screamed at the top of her lungs to her parents.  
  
"We gave you the perfect life and YOU screwed it up, we have no idea what else to do with you. You leave tomorrow, no ifs ands or buts. Have your things packed." Shaye ran out of her house, 'how could they do this to me' she thought.  
  
"Hey shorty!" Shaye turned to see who just had to irk her that much more by calling her shorty. It was none other than Joree himself.  
  
"What's up?" Joree questioned, obviously seeing the pain in her eyes.  
  
"My rents are shipping me off to some fucking isolation school." Shaye told him.  
  
"WHAT? Who's going to hook me up now?" Joree questioned getting annoyed.  
  
"Fuck you Joree, what about me?? I need to tweak NOW and I leave in a day and all you can care about is who's going to hook you up with crystal meth, gee thanks for caring."  
  
"Sorry, it won't be the same around here without you." He replied sarcastically. "It'd be better off without me." Shaye mumbled under her breath "What?" "Nothing I have to pack."  
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"Wake up its 5:00 am" Shaye hesitantly got out of her safe bed; she reached under her mattress and grabbed the old familiar box. "Fucking savior." She told herself. With that she opened the box, pulled out her broken mirror and continued to snort a few lines of crystal meth. "With this nothing can hurt me" She tried to convince herself.  
  
"LET'S GO!!!" She heard her mother yell up to her. "I'm coming!" "Well you better hurry up or you'll be late" Debbie snapped "Yes mother dear" Shaye said coldly. "Don't you ever give me that attitude again" Debbie demanded. "Do you hear me young lady?"  
  
The car ride up was silent. Shaye had no intent to speak with the people who were supposed to love and care for her. But little did she know they would just as soon ship her off to some school for societal- rejects.  
  
"Hello, welcome to Horizon. I'm Peter Scarbrow the headmaster at this school." "Hello, i'm Debbie and this over there is Shaye." Debbie said while pointing to her daughter.  
  
"Well hello Shaye" Peter said, trying to gain eye contact with her. "yah whatever." She retorted. 5 minutes at this school and she already hated everything about it. 'I might as well be dead' she told herself.  
  
"Well I'll let you two say your goodbyes and then Shaye you'll have to come with me." Peter continued.  
  
"No need for goodbye's, after what she did she doesn't deserve it." Shaye said, looking directly at her mother. "Goodbye father"  
  
With that, Shaye followed Peter into his office. "Have a seat" "No thanks."  
  
Shaye looked out the window at the forest, she loved to be outdoors. It was nothing like what she had expected it to be. There were no fences, no bars she was free.  
  
"There are a few rules here" Peter began. "First off no sex, violence or inappropriate touching. This is a safe place, a place where you come to get away from all the crap in your real life. And for some, those actions may cause them pain and bring back memories."  
  
There was a sudden knock at the door, and in walked a tall blonde women. She looked to be about 5'6.  
  
"Peter." Her voice trailed off realizing he was with a new admit. "I'm sorry; I didn't know someone was in here with you." She spoke apologetically. "No Soph you're just on time" Peter smiled. "Shaye, i'm assigning you to the Cliffhanger group, this is Sophie Becker your counselor." "Anything you tell her, or any other counselor is confidential, unless off course there is suspicion that you will harm yourself or others. We are then bound by law to notify the proper authorities." "Now if you'll go with her she will take you to the doctor for your physical" Peter said. "I'm not going for a fucking physical!" Shaye rebelled back to him. "That isn't an option." Peter demanded. 


	2. The physical

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters they belong to Fox Family. I do own Shaye, Debbie, Joree and Dr. Jacobs though.  
  
Authors note-Remember this is my first fan fiction. All the criticism helps, so leave me a review!!! Haha. Hope you enjoy it.  
  
Sophie led her down the hall to the infirmary. Shaye couldn't help but wonder just how exactly she was going to get out of having a physical. If she couldn't the doctor would see. He would see everything and it would only bring back all the pain and more questions. That's the one thing she hated most were the questions.  
  
"If you would go in there, and put on the gown. The doctor will be in in a minute." Sophie said.  
  
Shaye walked in. It was a medium sized room with a table in the middle. On that table was the dreaded gown. What was she going to do? She couldn't possibly wear it.  
  
-Knock knock- "Hello I'm Dr. Jacobs I'll be doing your.."He stopped "Did I not leave a gown in here?" he asked  
  
"No you did, i'm not wearing a fucking gown." She replied angrily. Sophie heard the commotion outside the door and she walked in. "Im not wearing it and that's final." Shaye said stubbornly. "That's not a choice; everybody here at Horizon has a physical when they first arrive and then one every two months. There is no need to worry; it will be over just like this." Dr. Jacobs snaps his fingers. "Oh, if you prefer I would be able to get a female doctor for you?" Shaye didn't say anything other than she was not putting on the gown. "Shaye why don't you want to put the gown on?" Sophie questioned, looking worried.  
  
"Uh" Shaye stuttered, "I'm just really self conscious when it comes to things like that."  
  
"I wish there was some other way, but I simply can't do your physical without you putting the gown on."  
  
Tears started to well up in her eyes, "but, but..I cant I wont!" Fear was overcoming her face. She looked towards the door and saw the forest. With that she jumped up and ran she ran as fast as she could.  
  
"Shaye, no wait! Shaye come back!! SHAYE!" Sophie yelled, running after the scared girl. "There is no use I have to get Peter."  
  
Sophie barged into Peter's office, "Peter she ran." "Why? Where did she head off too?" Peter asked. "The forest, she had a problem with getting into a gown." "Okay ill go after her, turn your radio to channel 2. If I see her I'll call." Peter told her directly. "Oh and you might want to get the cliffhangers and the ridge runners in groups incase I can't find her." "Yes, just please find her Peter." Peter ran out of the lodge towards the forest. He ran like the wind. Telling himself over and over again, that he will find her. It started to rain, not just rain but pour.  
  
"What else could go wrong" He yelled.  
  
"I have to keep running; if they find me then they will ask why? They will question me like i'm some sort of criminal. I can't let them find me." She told herself. Shaye ran full out for at least a good 15 minutes. Her lungs were giving out, and her legs felt like they were going to fall off. She couldn't do it anymore she couldn't. She gave up, like everything and everyone else in her life she gave up. She simply couldn't do it. She looked up and saw a big oak tree and decided maybe she could hide underneath it. Tears were flowing down her cheeks. She reached the oak tree soaking wet and curled up in a fetal position. 'Nothing can hurt me, if I can't see it nothing can hurt me..nothing.' She tried to convince herself.  
  
"Where is she?" Peter asked himself getting frustrated that he couldn't find her. He always found his students when they ran. Not once has he not found someone, and he wasn't about to give up this early. Just when he was about to radio to Sophie telling her to send out the Cliffhangers he noticed her.  
  
"Shaye, Shaye!" He said while shaking her. She was curled up into a ball hiding under the tree. His only thought was of how scared she must be.  
  
"NO! No please stop! You promised no more, please let go of me. NO!" She yelled through her sobs, not mentally knowing it was Peter but in her mind she couldn't comprehend.  
  
"Hunny it's me Peter, your soaking wet we need to get you back to the lodge. Please baby come with me. It's okay I wont hurt you." Peter begged, not knowing what was going on. But had a feeling she was hurting more than he thought.  
  
With that Peter tried to get her up, unsuccessful he sat down beside her and started to stroke her hair. After what seemed to be an eternity, but lasted only 5 minutes Shaye gave in and got up. Only to immediately collapse into Peter. He helped her up and with one arm around the scared 15 year old girl. They walked back to the lodge. Sophie ran out to meet her husband and the frail little girl he held. Surprisingly when Peter went to hand Shaye over to Sophie, she didn't let go, she wouldn't.  
  
They walked back into Peter's office trying to avoid the stares of the other Cliffhangers but they couldn't get away that easy.  
  
"Is that her?" Jules questioned, pointing to the short girl, walking in with Peter who had dark brown hair and she looked like she was a skeleton.  
  
"Yah, not to bad." Auggie replied. Jules nudged him in his ribs.  
  
"She looks like a fucking poser. She doesn't belong in our group, she probably just wants sympathy." Shelby said, while glaring at the girl. Scott put his arm around her. Shelby leaned in. "Your not going to go to her are you?" She questioned.  
  
Scott could sense the fear in her voice. "No I would never leave you, I love you Shel."  
  
"Get a room." Daisy said sarcastically.  
  
"Come on guys it's almost lights out, lets go back to our dorms." Kat interrupted. With that all the fellow Cliffhangers left the lodge to their dorms.  
  
Shaye could feel their stares on her and all she wanted to do was get out of here, get out of this place. She didn't belong here.  
  
"Here lets get you out of those soaking wet clothes, into something dryer." Peter said, while handing the girl her bags. With that Peter and Sophie left to go have a word outside while she changed.  
  
"Soph what happened?"  
  
"Dr. Jacobs was asking for her to change into a gown but she refused, when he told her that he couldn't do the physical unless she changed she bolted for the woods." "What do you think it is Mountain man?" Sophie questioned.  
  
"I don't know, I really don't know. Her file didn't say anything about being abused. It said that she got pretty heavy into drugs, hung out with the wrong crowd and that's about it. She's hurting though, I know that."  
  
"How? What happened in the woods?"  
  
"I found her in a fetal position under an oak tree, she obviously couldn't run anymore. When I went to go and tell her I was there, take her back she started screaming 'No please stop, you promised you would stop.' I just sat beside her taken back and waited." Peter told his wife, his voice sounding weak. "We have to get through to her; I can see so much pain in her eyes. We just have to Peter." Sophie said practically begging.  
  
"I know, I know." 


	3. Found out

DISCLAIMER- I do NOT own higher ground or any of its characters except for Shaye and others in previous chapters. Blah blah this is the last time i'm writing this disclaimer.  
  
Update- Sorry it has taken me forever to write this chapter and sorry that it is not very well written. I was shipped away during summer to someplace and had no time to write or anything. Sorry if this is graphic but im telling the story of how I figure it would be if I went to horizon. I'll try to write more but with school and I have a hectic semester it will be hard but im trying to manage. Thanks for reading  
  
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Shaye walked into Peter's office, she could hear Peter and the precious Sophie outside talking about her. How could they think that she couldn't hear them? Shaye opened up her bag and went searching through it to try to find the bottle of painkillers that she stole from her father before they left. When she couldn't find them she searched for more of her pills yet nothing. Nothing at all, they were all gone as with her razor.  
  
"Where the fuck is all my stuff?!?!" Shaye screamed out.  
  
Peter realizing he forgot to tell the girl about the bag search closed his eyes and sighed heavily knowing this was going to be a tough week.  
  
Peter walks into the office and before he could say one word Shaye cut in "I want my stuff and I want it now, you had no right to go through my stuff. I thought that was against the law or something. I could sue you."  
  
"While you were getting your physical done, or *not* getting your physical done we had to search your bags to remove any objects that were harmful or were against school rules. Your parents had given us permission to search your bags as soon as you arrived. Nobody is admitted into this school unless they get their bags and belongings searched."  
  
"I know now isn't a good time and you still have yet to get out of those wet clothes, we need to talk." Peter said, trying to change the subject. "I don't want to talk nor do I -have- to talk to you or anyone else." She retorted not giving Peter the chance to argue back she gets up. "You broke school rules, there are consequences. No matter if you're new here or if you've been here for three years."Shaye cut in again "You mean I have to stay here for three years?" "No, well it depends on your progress." Peter answered.  
  
"Sophie will show you to your dorm and hopefully get a buddy to show you around. Dinner is in the hall at 7pm."  
  
With that, Sophie led the frail girl out of the office and to the girls dorm where Juliette was to be waiting to show her around.  
  
They arrived but Jules was nowhere to be found.  
  
"Your bed is over there." Sophie said pointing to the bed nearest the bathroom. "I'll leave you to get unpacked while I try to find Juliette." Sophie said while leaving Shaye to get settled in.  
  
"I can't believe I'm here." She told herself. Having no recollection of what happened earlier she panicked at the thought of perhaps slipping what has happened to her to peter. 'No I couldn't have said anything I promised I would never say anything i'm not breaking that now.too much relies on me not telling I have to protect them.' She tried to re-assure herself. Depressed that Peter took away the one thing that saved her from being lost in herself -her razor- she threw everything out of her bag onto her bed hoping that he missed the one she had hid under the bottom of the lining. Gone. So there she was a frail little girl sitting on her bed not knowing what exactly to do she saw a glimmer in her eye. Shaye turned to look and saw a glass kitten on the night table of one of her bunkmates. "Should I?" she questioned herself. Instead she wandered into the girls bathroom and smashed her fist straight into the mirror above the sink. Not caring about Peter and his so called consequences she took the shards of glass and pressed them down on her wrist. Not wanting to kill herself but not wanting to live for another breath of air. She sat there cutting and carving her skin until there was blood all around her and over her clothes. Still feeling weak from her sprint and having not eaten in a few days she passed out, blood loss.  
  
7 o'clock rolled around and the new girl had yet to arrive at the dinning hall. Sophie finally meeting up with Jules asked why she wasn't at the dorm when told to be there.  
  
"I forgot." "That's not like you Jules, is everything okay?" "I'm fine I just forgot. No need to get all serious on me. Sorry I forgot." Sophie stared at the girl in puzzlement all the while thinking to herself what has gotten into her. "I'm here if you ever need to or want to talk, you know that and so are all the other counselors if you want." Juliette nodded and sat down at the table. Peter caught up with his wife and asked her where Shaye was. Sophie turning to see that the girl wasn't at the table. "Probably still in the dorm that's where I last left her. Do you want me to go and get her?" "No, let me. Maybe she will clue me in, as to what happened earlier in the woods." "Okay Mountain man but be gentle." "Always."  
  
-Knock knock-  
  
Peter opened the door slightly to peek in. When he couldn't see the girl on her bed he thought she had ran again. Before turning to leave he sees the light in the bathroom still on and a shadow in the door. Peter walked over to the door and knocked, once again with no answer he opened the door to find Shaye sitting there in a daze a single tear rolling down her cheek.  
  
Peter stood there shocked not knowing what to say. Reached over to put his hand on the girls shoulder. She moved away not because she was scared of what he would say but because she didn't want him to touch her blood. Peter wrapped her cuts as well as he could. All the while trying to get her to talk but she was silent not wanting to speak. There wasn't many cuts to wrap nor were they very deep but there was enough for peter to suspect many more from previous times. He pulled up her sleeves and saw the scratchboard of lines and scars from time and time again. Looking over all of her wounds he noticed bruising around her wrist. Peter knowing the girl was probably terrified didn't question anything at that time. They walked to the infirmary.  
  
One place Shaye has seen too much already, one place where she felt safe but threatened. A place that holds so much help and relief but also holds more pain that normal. A place she never wants to come back too. 


	4. Group

Author's note- I'm writing this story based on my past experiences everything I write that happens to Shaye is what happened to me. I'm sure this has been done before but if it has I'm sorry that I also have the idea to do a 'me attending horizon' fanfic. Nonetheless I'm now 16 so Shaye is also 16. Sorry it has taken me FOREVER to update but some stuff has been going on and yeah. Ill try to write more I just don't know where to go with this anymore. Much like my life.  
  
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The next morning Shaye awoke in the infirmary. Puzzled as to why she was there she quickly jumped up. With the amount of blood that she had lost, and her not eating in a few days she was lightheaded and soon collapsed back onto the cot. Peter had stayed with her all night, wondering, thinking what could possibly have this young girl so upset. Noticing that she had tried unsuccessfully to get up out of bed Peter walked over to her.  
  
"Wh.what am I doing in here...again." Shaye asked rather cold. Peter looked at her; he stared in her sky blue eyes and tried to find a way to explain to her why exactly she was back in the infirmary. Obviously she had not known what she did or else she would already know why she was in the infirmary. Shaye turned her head. "Why wont you answer me?" she questioned getting nervous. Oh no I didn't..did I? I couldn't have he couldn't have I didn't say anything I couldn't have. Shaye kept questioning herself. Finally Peter spoke.  
  
"You cut yourself last night. WE wanted to make sure that you were safe. I stayed with you all night. Nothing here can hurt you do you hear me, nothing." He spoke rather fiercely.  
  
Shaye looked down to her bandaged arms and wondered why she trusted this stranger so much. Of all people she could trust she chose him..a guy. After everything.  
  
"I.I'm sorry." that's all she could manage to say.  
  
"You will be on restriction and 24 hour watch for the next 4 days at least. A counselor or a senior will be with you at all times." "We have a lot to talk about, but for now you have group."  
  
Shaye got dressed and met Peter outside. They walked to group silently.  
  
"Sophie why can't we start already?" Scott begged eagerly. "I have some important 'stuff' to get back to." as he winked at Shelby. Scott and Shelby had been through some rough times up at Horizon and considering their pasts well what more can one say. They fit together like a puzzle piece fits into its correct position. Sophie noticing the tension tried to lighten the mood.  
  
"Look I know you all are a little impatient and eager to leave, but you have a new member in the cliffhanger group."  
  
"Yah that psycho bit..bitter girl who tried to kill herself in OUR dorm last night." Shelby cut in rather coldly. She had not even met this newbie yet and already she hated her.  
  
"SHELBY!" Sophie yelled angrily towards her.  
  
"About time" Sophie whispered to herself, as she saw Peter walk into the lodge followed by a short girl who looked rather skinny than she did in her baggy clothes. "I'll have to make sure she eats all her meals regularly." Sophie made a mental note to herself.  
  
"Peter I really..." "There is nothing to be scared of, this will be your group these people will be like family. You have to learn to trust them and live with them." Peter cut in. "Take a seat anywhere possible."  
  
Sophie pulled her husband over to the side so they could talk in private shortly before group started. "What took so long, this is one impatient group." "I'm sorry Soph, she had some issues about coming. Plus she nearly passed out getting up this morning. I don't know how I'm.we're going to get through to her." "We will find a way, we always do. But right now you have to start group, and good luck with that."  
  
"Alright everyone, sorry for keeping you waiting. As you all must have noticed by now we have a new member to the Cliffhangers. Everyone this is Shaye."  
  
Everyone turned to look at the newbie. Whispers were heard and Shaye sunk lower into the chair. One thing she hated were people staring at her.  
  
"Okay, let's start off with introductions and 'I feel.' Scott care to begin?" Peter asked..well rather demanded.  
  
"Not like I have a choice now do I?" Scott said sarcastically. "Hey, my names Scott I'm here because I was abused by my skank of a step mom. And I feel anxious." And Scott winked to Shelby as to what will be happening later when they met at the docks. "Daisy." "I'm Daisy, I'm in here for clubbing daddy dearest over the head with a seven iron. I feel someone's wearing a mask." Daisy looked directly to Shaye who intently was wearing a mask. Daisy nodded to Ez, almost as if saying go ahead.  
  
"Hey, my names Ezra I'm here because I became a pharmacist." "Ezra!" Peter said sternly. "Okay okay, I WANT to be a pharmacist but I'm here because I got into drugs.pretty bad. I feel rejected." He looked over to Daisy who turned her head away. It had only been two days since she told Ezra to leave her alone and that She wanted to be alone and not have a relationship. But Ezra couldn't handle, he got heartbroken at the thought that Daisy liked David.  
  
"David?" "I'm David. And I shouldn't be here. But they sent me to cheer this place up." Peter opened his mouth about to scold David for not telling the truth but got interrupted. "Peter save it, okay names David I'm here because the General couldn't deal. I feel normal." "Auggie." "Yo, meat names Auggie. I'm in for being into gangs pretty bad. I feel amazing." Auggie smiled to himself, he and Jules just got together, and he hadn't felt this good in a very long time. "Jules." "Hey!" Jules said rather solemnly for her character. Sophie immediately wondered what was wrong with her. First Jules forgets about meeting the newbie, and then she shrugs Sophie off now she appears to be down on herself. "I'm Julliette. I.I'm here because I'm too much to handle for mother. I am an embarrassment to her and it is better without me around all the time. You know getting in the way." She looked to the floor. "Jules! Now you know that is not true." Peter tried to re-enforce that into her head. "Whatever." Was all Jules could manage to say. "Shelby." "I'm Shelby. I'm here because I'm here. And really that reason is none of your business. I feel angry." She said glaring at Shaye who didn't even want to look up. "Shaye, it's your turn now, just do what everyone else did. Say why you're here then an I feel." Peter hoped that maybe she would explain what is bothering her so bad.  
  
"I'm Shaye, My wonderful parents sent me. Although I guess.." She broke down. Everyone was looking at her. "I did what I did last night because I can't deal. Okay!!!! SO STOP STARING AT ME!!!" She screamed.  
  
"Group is over, I expect you all to be in class in 10 minutes. I'll send Roger to make sure you are all there." As everyone got up to leave Peter asked for Shaye and Juliette to stay behind.  
  
Peter pulled Jules aside. "I can't help but notice that something serious is bothering you. I want to see you in my office as soon as class is over. But for now you are Shayes first week buddy. I know you can do this Jules, just be yourself. I need to talk with her for awhile so she won't be attending class today. So you may head off." "What if myself isn't good enough?" Jules asked her self silently walking away. "Don't forget Jules, my office after class." With that she was gone. In Peter's office.  
  
"Have a seat." Shaye sat in the corner of the couch. Knees pulled up to her chest, staring down at the floor. It was an awkward moment of silence then finally she spoke. "I'm sorry." Peter and Sophie both looked at her stunned. "I'm sorry I made everyone hate me already and I'm sorry that I made your jobs difficult, I'm sorry about breaking the mirror and cutting I'm sorry about running I'm just I'm sorry." Tears were welling up in her eyes but she couldn't let them she how weak she was. Shaye blinked them back.  
  
"I know it must be difficult for you. This is new, I understand. But you still have to abide by the rules. I need to know. When I searched your bag we found a vile of Ketamine and some glass. Did you use the day you came?" Peter looker her in the eyes hoping they would tell.  
  
Shaye didn't want to lie, so she nodded. That's all she could manage. After all it was the truth.  
  
"Your file is pretty vague, do you mind telling us why you're here?" Peter questioned Shaye, while looking to his wife. Sophie gave him a reassuring look as to say that he was doing everything correctly. He only managed a shrug out of the girl. Peter questioned her again, question after question all her got was a slight shrug.  
  
"Well, I can see you don't really feel up to talking right now. You may as well go off to class. Soph will go with you."  
  
Shaye got up and reached for the door.  
  
"Oh Shaye. I'd like to see you later today after lunch. Nothing here will hurt you; you're in a safe place." With that she left.  
  
How am I ever going to get through to her? She's solid. Peter thought to himself as he saw his wife and a small figure walk away from his office.  
  
"There's something about her.something" he told himself. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on. 


	5. The root of all problems

Sophie and Shaye walked silently to her chemistry class, all the while thoughts were flowing through both of their heads. Shaye couldn't help but wonder what was going to happen to her while she served her time in this 'prison' like facility. Being watched constantly- having to attend class it was just too much to bear.  
  
"Okay class turn to page 227 in your Heath Chemistry lab procedures textbook. We will be completing the prelab for..." a knock interrupted Jeff Sophie walked in, Shaye in tow. "Jeff, this is Shaye, she is new here but will be in your advanced chem. class." "Always glad to have new students, Shaye why don't you take a seat-anywhere is fine." Jeff said rather energetically. Sophie and Jeff walked to the corner of the room to talk, while the class started to talk amongst themselves.  
  
"Jeff, she needs to be under 24hour watch so she is not to leave the room without Kat or any other senior. She has yet to fit in with the cliffhangers. She is really a very nice girl we just, we can't pin what's wrong with her yet...she" Jeff cut in, seeing something in Sophie's eyes, something he hasn't seen in her eyes before. It was almost as if he could sense that Sophie felt for this little girl, almost like it was one of her own.  
  
"Sophie." Jeff started, waiting for her to meet his eyes. Ever since they started talking she had yet to look at him. "It will be okay, i'm sure she will fit in fine." They continued to talk while the other advanced Chem cliffhangers began to talk to Shaye.  
  
"Hey." A tall blond strong figured boy said. "Hey" she replied rather solemnly. "I'm Scott..how do you like it here so far?" he asked unsure of what to say "Well, I ran, 'tried to kill myself' which actually I didn't want to die I just wanted to numb myself, blew up at group, got hated by almost everyone that's in my group-feel like a fool and now I don't know what to do." It was the truth; Scott didn't quite expect an answer like that  
  
"Oh..uhh well we all had bad first days. And as far as running don't worry most of us have tried." "Yah, I got as far as the bus station one time. I hadn't been here longer than 45 minutes Roger was still giving my parents the introduction." Kat broke into their conversation  
  
"Did you catch the bus?" Shaye questioned.  
  
"Nope Peter was waiting at the ticket booth for me." Kat smiled, knowing that he truly did save her life and hoping that maybe but some slim chance Shaye knew it too.  
  
Sophie left can Jeff began class again. Jeff noticed something that rarely happened with new students, Shaye was working and with Scott. Scott wasn't shutting her out or being rude he was helping her. Jeff smiled to himself.  
  
Back in Peter's office. "So, what are we going to do with her?" Sophie questioned. "Well I'll have to inform her parents and perhaps see about getting her out of this school." "What! No. Peter you CANT do that, she isn't well enough to leave, look at her-look at her files-you know what she did she obviously has a lot of demons to fight and getting her out of here? What's that going to do but push her farther into this darkness that already entails her?!!!"  
  
"Soph, I know!!!Okay I know how bad she is hurting but what am I to do? Sometimes cutting is a cry that they want to go home, it's up to her parents. Maybe she needs something more than this school." Peter replied almost giving up hope.  
  
"You can't let her go home Peter, I just have this feeling..." Peter cut her off "Don't assume or go by what you feel. One can not let feelings interfere with jobs like this, only go by what you know. I know she needs help but we can not help her until she is willing to get help-until she reaches out to us."  
  
"Either way I need to inform her parents." Sophie looked down to him, "I know."  
  
She walked behind his chair and wrapped her arms around him. A feeling of safety quickly enthralled them both.  
  
"Okay class, your homework is to finish up the pre-lab. And be prepared for the lab tomorrow and a special 'pop quiz sometime next week." Jeff was trying to yell after his class.  
  
"Oh perfect a 'pop' quiz."Shaye was thinking to herself on her way back to Peter's office. "Why are you following me?" She asked well rather demanded of Kat. "24hour supervision, since i'm a senior and was in your advanced chem. Class I got assigned the job." Kat said.  
  
"Don't sound too happy." Shaye replied sarcastically "Oh don't worry." Kat said while laughing. Shaye couldn't help but smile and laugh with her. "That's what I like to see. " Sophie intruded on their conversation. She smiled.  
  
In Peters office-  
  
There was a knock at the door, Peter dropped Shayes files and opened it. "Jules, come in." "Why am I hear Peter?" She questioned. "I've been eating my meals, I haven't purged.and look" she rolls up her sleeves "No new cuts!..why?" "Jules, both Sophie and I have noticed that something was going on with you. Your merely here because I'm worried about you. We both care about you and it hurts us to see that you're not 'yourself' anymore. We just want to help you sweetie."  
  
"Peter.I.I just well when mail came a couple days ago I got a letter from mother." She turned her head away  
  
"Go on Jules, its okay sweetie." Peter tried to re-assure her  
  
"Well, I opened it when I was alone because I didn't know what to expect.. All the other girls were out by the gazebo and I was alone in the dorm. I read the letter and I felt so awful that I just wanted to hurt myself-to let it all leak out for everyone else to see but I didn't Peter I didn't."  
  
"Jules I'm so beyond glad that you didn't, you've learnt a lot here you know that? You have new coping skills and I'm glad you used them instead..but with all my pride in you I have yet to understand what has you so upset?"  
  
"It was mother, you know parents week is coming up and I was awfully looking forward to seeing her. I mean not once has she come up to visit, everyone else's parents have come and gone while mother just doesn't come. She told me that she wouldn't come up because she doesn't believe that I have made a significant amount of improvement and she would be embarrassed for Bill -That's her new husband's name- to meet me under such circumstances." She wiped a tear from her eye. "Why can't she just love me Peter? Why am I soo awful for her? Why am I such a disappointment?" "Shhh shhh sweetie you're not a disappointment your mother is. She wasn't the mother she should be, you deserve so much more." He walked closer to her and embraced her in a hug. 


	6. Chaos

A/N—Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it! About the story—I don't know when it takes place, but Scott has come back for Shelby, and none of them have gone on Solos yet. 

*****

"Geez it's cold out here." Shelby mumbled to herself. 

"What was that?" Scott questioned while grabbing Shelby and pulling her into a kiss.

"I said..it was cold out here, but then you came along. And now…" she trailed off as Scott leant in to kiss her once again.

"And now what?"

"Now I feel all warm inside." She replied sarcastically. Scott began to laugh and then they walked to the edge of the docks and sat down.

"You know ever since you came back at the morp and told me you loved me, well Scott I haven't felt this way about anyone." Shelby turned away while speaking her true feelings to Scott for once. 

_What are you doing __Shelby__? Are you really telling him how you're feeling? Gosh I can't believe i'm doing this_

Scott took her face in his hands and turned her to him.

"Shel..I never want to leave you again. You mean so much to me, you helped me through my rough times and I want to do the same for you." He pulled her in to hug her, the hug faded and they began to kiss passionately on the dock.

"You guys better watch it, Peter's out looking for you." Daisy warned the two.

"Thanks Dais" both Shelby and Scott had turned and thanked in unison. Ever since Scott and Shelby had gotten close it was always Daisy who saved their butts from Peter. 

"Let's go." Shelby spoke as they got up to walk back with Daisy.

"Oh our ever so mighty leader, what do we owe this pleasure?" spoke Daisy directing it towards Peter who was walking up to the three of them.

 Peter shot her one of those 'Don't start with me looks.' 

"Can you guys do me a favor?"

"I'm sure we don't have much of a choice now do we?" Shelby replied

"No…No you don't, round up the cliffhangers, were having group in the lodge in 15 minutes. Don't be late." He said running off towards the admin building.

_I have to call Shaye's parents before group starts to see if she will be taken out of Horizon._ Peter made a mental note.

*******

Peter walked into his office and began to dial Shaye's home phone number.

*ring ring*

_Please be there, I don't want this to wait any longer than it already has_

*Ring ring*

"Yah." A voice on the other line spoke.

_Who answers the phone with 'Yah', wow I always pictured her family to be rather polite and sophisticated. From what Shaye told me…_His thoughts ended when the person on the other line spoke again.

"Look buddy, I don't know who this is but if you're going to fucking call at least speak." 

"Uh…Sorry, Hello, this is Peter Scarbrow from Mount Horizon high, may I speak to Mr. or Mrs. Watts?"

"Yah, hang on." 

"Hello, this is Mrs. Watts speaking."

_And here is the politeness I imagined._

"Hello Mrs. Watts this is Peter Scarbrow from Mount Horizon."

"Oh yes, the school we sent our daughter to. Hello Peter, how can I help you? Do you need more information on Shaye? Did something happen?"

"No, Debbie, I don't need any more information and yes something happened. But don't worry your daughter is perfectly fine." Peter told her rubbing his forehead

"What is the trouble then? If she's alright then why are you calling me?"

"Mrs. Watts, Shaye well when she first arrived shortly after you left she ran. What I mean by that is while asked to change for a physical she ran away. Straight into the forest. Might I add your daughter can run. I found her in a fetal position under the tree, she was saying…." He trailed off wondering if he should say anything about what the frail girl spoke of when he found her. Deciding it would be best not to mention it he continued.

"She wasn't saying anything, finally I persuaded her to come back to the school with me. It had been raining." He was cut off.

"Peter, is this all you called to tell me? That it was raining when she ran? I know it was raining we were driving in it." Debbie told getting rather upset.

"No, Mrs. Watts. I'm calling to tell you that one your daughter tried to run away from this school no longer than 15 minutes since you arrived and finally, she was found in the girls dorm covered in blood. It appears that your daughter has been cutting herself for quite some time now." He gave her a minute to respond and take everything in. When she didn't speak he began again.

"Here at Horizon, cutting is sometimes a cry for help, a cry that they want to be sent home." 

"I'm very aware that my daughter has cut herself, she has been doing this stupid antic for over two years now." She was frustrated and most of all embarrassed that her daughter was making a fool of herself in front of these people.

"What? Why was there no mention of this in her files?" Peter asked looking at his watch and then back to her files. 

_Crap, group is starting in a minute._

"Mrs. Watts Shaye's file says nothing about self destructive behaviors."

"I know, her father and I didn't think you are anybody at that school had to know, I mean she hasn't cut herself in quite some time now."

"Of course, we had to know!! Your daughter is attending my school; we have to look out for her well being and safety among everything else. Leaving out that vital piece of information it not only hurt herself all the more it put pressure and fear onto ourselves." Peter spoke out to Debbie utterly disgusted that she thought it was in her daughter's best to leave out such vital piece of information.

"My point of this phone call was to update you and ask you if you would feel more comfortable taking Shaye out of this school. As she has tried to run and cut herself."

"You can't deal with my daughters problems?" Debbie implied

"No Mrs. Watts, we are perfectly capable of dealing with Shaye, its just mandatory of us to inform the parents had a student done something that could harm themselves or others." Peter said getting annoyed with the lady.

"Then no, I want to keep her there. I couldn't help her, her father couldn't help her, and her friends couldn't help her. Surely to God you can help her."

"Okay then, I have to go; the group is waiting for me to arrive." 

"Nice talking to you Peter."

"You too Mrs. Watts, and don't worry we will take good care of your daughter here."

With that they both hung up the phone.

********

In the lodge.

"Yo meat! What's the deal; you tell us all to come here five minutes ago and Peters not even here." Auggie directed towards Scott.

"Yah Scott what's up, Peter told us we are having group, but he doesn't even show?" Shelby leant over and whispered to Scott.

"I don't know where Peter is, but he told us to meet here so lets just wait I guess." Scott told them all. Answering both questions at once.

"I'm tired of waiting." Jules pouted.

"Aww too bad Queenie, guys Queenie's tiiired of waiting." Shelby mocked her.

Jules didn't know what else to do but glare at her, Shelby was always making fun of her. Shelby always called Jules Queenie, but little did Shelby know that it truly did hurt Jules' feelings.

"Shelby! Just drop it okay." Kat broke in.

"Oh fearless leader." Daisy interrupted while tilting her head towards the door in which Peter was hurrying through.

"Sorry i'm late guys, I had a phone call to make." 

_Scott, __Shelby__, Kat, Jules, Auggie, Ezra, Daisy, David,…..Shaye. Why is she sitting alone on the floor? _

"Since everyone is here I'd just like to say that tomorrow morning at dawn we will be going on Solo hikes." He was interrupted by a series of groans from the group.

"So pack only the essential, it will be a two day hike. One day up there, one solo night and then the hike back."

"Peter, do we all have to go?" Jules whined.

"Yes, Jules everyone will be participating in this hike."

"Now for group, is there anything anyone wants to discuss?" he questioned hoping someone would speak. But much to his desire no one said a word. 

"Fine then, finish the sentence. One thing I wish I knew before……Daisy?"

"One thing I wish I knew before would be that my parents didn't start drinking because of me. David."

"Very good Daisy." Peter butted in.

"One thing I wish I knew before was that the Colonel was nice??" He had a confused look on his face. Peter didn't want to fight with David tonight, so he let it slide.

"Scott."

"One thing I wish I knew before was that the skank liked to prey on younger guys." 

"What would you have done had you known that before?" Shelby questioned, curious as to what Scott had to say.

"I would have left my house and stayed with a friend or even my mother." Scott said rather pleased with himself that that is what he would have done.

Peter smiled to himself thinking of how far Scott has come since he first arrived at Horizon.

"Kat"

"One thing I wish I knew before was that my parents loved me for me, no matter color."

"Shaye"

"One thing I wish I knew before would be what it felt like to feel loved, to not feel alone. One thing I wish I knew before was that it was okay to whine and complain and cry to your friends for one whole day if it meant that you wouldn't be doing something else to hurt yourself in return. Yah, that's what I wish I knew before."

_I can't believe I just said that to them, God i'm a fool. How could I open up. Stupid stupid stupid. Look away, don't look at them…say a name to get them to change the subject…just say a name."_

_"_Shelby"

"One thing I wish I knew before would be that not saying anything is only hurting Jess more than protecting her."

Peter smiled to himself again, this time last year he would never have thought Shelby could make such good progress yet she has. He couldn't be more proud of his students.

"Ezra"

"One thing I wish I knew before would be that drugs do more harm than good."

"Jules"

"One thing I wish I knew before would be……Peter I can't think of just one thing, I mean I wish I knew everything I ever did wrong before. I wish I knew that mother only wanted me to be perfect for her husbands, that she was looking out for me, making sure I looked decent. That being skinny doesn't determine who you really are, and that cutting is only a temporary relief from the pain I feel everyday." Jules turned away from the group, only letting one silent tear fall from her glistening eyes.

_She feels pain **everyday**_. _Peter questioned himself._

"It's okay Jules" Auggie gave her support.

"I guess its just me now huh?"

"Yes, go ahead Auggie." Peter urged.

"One thing I wish I knew before was that being with my brother would only make momma et papa more upset with themselves. That's all I could give right now Peter. Minds gone blank, yo."

"That was very well done everyone, group is over."

"Finally" Was the only word heard from everyone.

"It's almost time for lights out so head back to your dorms and get ready for bed."

Everyone got up to leave, except Shaye.

"Oh and remember tomorrow morning 6am be in the lodge." All he got were another series of groans.

"Peter.?" Shaye began almost at a whisper.

Peter didn't know what to expect, this girl hadn't wanted to talk at all before now she was staying after. Peter sat down beside her on the couch. Neither of them were looking at each other. Peter was looking straight ahead and Shaye was looking down at her shoes. Moments had passed and neither had said a word to each other, finally Shaye began.

"Do I really have to go on this hike tomorrow?" tears were falling from her eyes, she couldn't help herself.

_You fool, why are you crying, in front of Peter too!!! Dont show your emotions, don't!! It's a sign of weakness and fear not strength how could I be crying in front of him._

Peter could hear the despair in her words but didn't want to look at her, he thought that perhaps not looking would make her feel more comfortable. He sighed.

"What makes you not want to go on this hike?"

"I don't know, I just….do you trust me?" she asked

"Trust you?" Peter questioned in response, not knowing what exactly she was talking about.

"Yeah, trust me to be alone and everything. You know with the running and the cutting. Do you trust me?" 

"Yes. I do. I trust you fully. Being here is only going to help you not hinder you. Every choice you make while being in this school is to your own choice. If you make the wrong choice then yes there will be punishments but no choice is necessarily the wrong one."

"How so?"

"Well if you choose to run, then it shows that you're scared, or are running from something that is new and is intimidating you. It tells us something. If you choose to cut then it tells us that we are not giving you what you need and that something needs to happen. Be it we inform the parents about possible other methods of help." He was cut off.

"You called my parents??" She questioned getting upset

"Yes, it is school policy, you did something to harm yourself therefore we are bound by law to inform the proper officals." He turned to face the girl for the first time during their conversation.

"You know, why didn't you tell us that you had a history of self destruction?"

"I…I was ashamed and embarrassed, I thought you would judge me differently."

"You had nothing to be embarrassed about, there are many students at this school who have cut themselves..be it in the past or present. You're not alone and you should never feel alone. My mother used to tell me "Never be alone, not in your head or in your heart. It's too easy to get lost." I wish I knew before that she was so right when she told me this."

"It's getting late, perhaps you should go to your dorm, and we can finish talking tomorrow if it's okay with you."

"Yah, its fine." Shaye turned to walk out of the lodge, stopping at the main door.

"Peter" she turned around.

"Yes?" he asked 

"Thank you." 

"I'll always be here for you to talk to."

"I know, I wasn't thanking you for that."

"oh?" Peter asked puzzled

"Thank you for trusting me." With that she turned and walked to her dorm leaving a prideful and pleased Peter in the lodge to himself.

***A/N--- Hope you all liked this chapter…Reviews would be greatly appreciated!!!!!

-cough-hint-cough- lol. So review even if you don't like it!!!! Everything helps!!!!!


	7. Breaking curfew

A/N---I'm going inpatient at the hospital for treatment. So this will be the last update for awhile. Sorry, I just I need to take care of myself now. It's difficult to explain. I promise when I get out though I'll be updating it again. I **won't** just drop this story.

********

Shaye took her time walking back to the dorms, thoughts and emotions were consuming her fully. There was nothing more that she would like to do other than taking a razor and gliding it across her skin every so perfectly. It was like her whole thoughts were engulfed in this feeling. Feeling as if that one object could take her entire pain away. She needed a release. 

"_If I go into the woods I can find a stick or a rock to cut with….it's better than nothing I mean."_

What am I thinking, she thought, I cant possibly cut after Peter told me he trusted me. But there is no other way. She silently made her way into the forest.

"_I wonder where she is going?_" Sophie questioned herself. 

She quietly made her way following Shaye into the woods. All the while telling herself that Shaye is not running. Sophie tried to find ever excuse in the book but couldn't think of why she would break curfew and go into the woods. 

Girl's dorm.

"Where do you think she is?" Jules asked Kat.

"I don't know Jules, but I think maybe someone should go and tell Sophie or Peter." 

"I'll go!!!" Shelby quickly jumped up.

"Someone eager to get her in trouble." Daisy commented.

"My pleasure." Shelby smirked; she pulled on her shoes and a jacket and made her way out of the dorm.

_But, first I can take a little detour over to see Scott. _ She began to run.

"I really don't think Shelby went straight to Peter." Jules began

"Yah, well give her some time…" Daisy said sternly.

"Fine"

"Okay guys lets go to bed, tomorrow comes early." Kat broke into their conversation. And she was totally right, tomorrow will come early.

_How can she be doing this, where is she? I wish I would've ran after her, maybe I should go back and get Peter? Why? I just need to find her."_ Sophie was beginning to worry when she couldn't find her.

_"Fuck, what was that?"_ Shaye thought to herself, while she heard the ruffle of leaves. She had made her way back to the oak tree where she first ran too, somehow it gave relief to her. She was holding the broken rock in her hands, contemplating. Sophie walked right past her.

"There you are! What are you doing out here." She didn't even notice the sharp edged rock that was being held in Shaye's grip.

"I just needed to get away."

"It's after lights out, your breaking curfew."

"Yeah I know."

"You also know there will be punishments right?" Sophie questioned.

"Yeah im sorry again." 

_Maybe I should stuff this in my pocket_. She began to think

"What is that?" Sophie questioned finally noticing the rock in her hand.

"What are you doing with that? Are you cutting again?" a shocked look appeared on Sophie's face as she said those words.

"Scott, Scott!" Shelby whispered as loud as she could into the window above Scott's bunk.

"SCOTT!" She finally said again with no reply, she left. Wondering exactly where he was.

Shelby gave up and left to go tell Peter about the newbie.

Shelby walked up into the admin building and straight into Peter's office.

She didn't even bother knocking, seeing as how late it was she didn't think Peter would be holding any personal therapy sessions at the moment. 

"Peter…" she began but was cut off as soon as Peter saw her.

"Shelby, what are you doing here its past curfew. Is something wrong?" he questioned.

"No nothing really, just Shaye never showed up after you let us out of group."

"I know she stayed back to talk." He answered her.

"Kay" Shelby turned to leave, and Peter glanced at his watch, he must have lost track of time and didn't realize it's been nearly 20 minutes since he and Shaye finished talking.

"Shelby wait." 

Shelby turned around to face him.

"You mean she hasn't gone back to the dorm yet?"

"Yeah that's what I said."

"Thanks for telling me." Peter replied and left along with Shelby to search for the girl.

"No Sophie really im not, or haven't." Shaye could see the look of disbelief in Sophie's eyes.

"Really, I promise, please believe me!!" She practically pleaded.

"Oh, sweetie. Seeing this, your past curfew, out in the woods alone holding an object that one could use to harm themselves. It...It just doesn't look innocent." Sophie began telling her exactly what she was thinking. She decided to be honest with the girl for once.

"I know. I just..." She stopped.

"Go one, don't worry." Sophie urged her to continue. She took a seat next to Shaye under the big oak tree.

"I just, after I finished talking with Peter about stuff. I was walking back to the dorms and I wanted a second to myself to just gather myself I guess and I was walking and I so badly wanted to take all the pain away from me. Just everything and I couldn't help it. So I walked into the woods, not because I was looking for a sharp rock..." she lied "but because I just wanted to get away and recollect myself. You know." Sophie nodded.

"Then I remember when I sat down, this is where Peter found me when I first ran, and it just brought back some memories I guess, and the next thing I know I have this rock in my hand pressed against my skin. I wanted ever so badly to press down but then I remember what Peter said about trusting me, and the choices I make and I didn't want to disappoint him…that's when you came along." She sighed heavily after getting all that out she couldn't help but wonder what exactly Sophie would do.

What Sophie did next shocked and surprised Shaye. Sophie reached over and grabbed the girl and brought her into a huge hug. They sat like that for over a minute, no words were spoken until Sophie broke the hug.

"I am **so** proud of you." She began

"I thought you hated me. I thought I disappointed you, I mean I broke curfew and I wandered away."

"Your right, you broke curfew and I'll let Peter deal with that but what you did that made me proud was you resisted the temptation to cut. It shows that you want to take a step to getting help and stopping this behavior, and that makes me proud because it means you're getting help." Sophie told her and they got up and walked back to the dorms.

Peter could see the faint shadow of two walking towards the dorms. 

_Uhhh she ran…again._ Was all he could think. So he waited, and waited for Sophie to come to him.

"I'm sorry." Shaye told Sophie once again, as she left to enter her dorm.

"We will talk tomorrow before the solo. Don't think you got off easy. Now go to sleep." She smiled and walked off to meet Peter who was looking rather anxious.

"Where were you? Why was she out, did she run again? What happened" Peter flooded her with questions.

"She wanted to cut but then remember what you said about trust and choices and I found her by the oak tree where you found her before and she didn't." Sophie began

"I told her you will give her punishment tomorrow before the solo." 

"Yeah I will." Peter answered rather upset that she would break curfew and think about harming herself but proud that she remembered what he told her.

Peter and Sophie walked hand in hand back towards the lodge.

"Where were you?" Daisy questioned as Shaye walked in the dorm.

"Out" Shaye retorted

"You broke curfew." 

"Really, you think!?" Shaye wasn't I the mood for Daisy, she just wanted to sit down and pretend that she was thinking.

Daisy gave up, something she seldom does but she had other things to do….sleep.

_I can't believe I fooled them. Sophie didn't even check me to see if there were any new cuts. What a moron. I can't believe she believed me when I said 'I couldn't because I remember what Peter told me about trusting me and choices' when really I would have if she just didn't come along so quickly. Ha a load of bullshit about me wanting to get better, why the fuck would I want to stop the one thing that has helped me forever. It's my way .The only way._

Shaye turned over and tried to get some rest, afraid of shutting her eyes in fear of what she might see. Eventually she got to sleep. Praying that tomorrow will be forever away.

Next morning

"Where were you last night, I was trying to get your attention below your window but you never answered me." Shelby complained to Scott.

"I must have been in a deep sleep, sorry Shel. You know I would've come out had I known." Scott lied.

"Yah I know." Shelby peered around and made sure there were no counselors around and she leaned in and gave Scott a very welcome good morning kiss. 

"AUGGIE" Jules squealed.

"Yo Jules, too early. Your rather energetic…I mean more so that usually for this time of hour." He smiled, and gave her a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

Soon after the rest of the cliffhangers showed up, along with Peter and Sophie. 

"Well, good morning." Peter said while looking at the tired and groggy faces of the cliffhangers.

"Go grab a breakfast to go in the cafe. Before we head out." 

The cliffhangers reluctantly got up.

"Kat, can you grab one for Shaye please." 

"Yeah sure."

"Shaye stay here." Peter demanded.

Shaye stopped dead in her tracks, her stomach began to flip. All she could do was turn around and take whatever Peter gave her.

"When we get back from Solo's you have two weeks kitchen duties. We need to have a serious discussion."

"Kay." She had nothing else to do but agree.

"I can't help unless you try as well. No more of this sneaking off and breaking the rules."

Shaye nodded. 

The cliffhangers began to file back near the gazebo with brown paper bags in hand.

"Here are your solo journals and a package sent from home. This package is supposed to help you remember the good times of your childhood." Peter told them, and he handed out the journals and packages.

Daisy picked hers up and held it to her ear, "Don't hear any ticking." She said sarcastically, nobody could help but laugh at her comment.

"Alright cliffhangers lets go." Sophie said a little too eagerly.

They all began the hike, Kat and Ezra walking at the head of the group, followed by David and Daisy behind David. Scott and Shelby were walking together behind Daisy and Jules and Auggie were also walking together shortly behind Shel and Scott. Shaye wanted to be alone so she tried as hard as she could to trail behind everyone. Except Peter and Sophie were directly behind her. She just wanted to be alone. That's all, all she ever wanted. To be left alone. But that is one of the greatest mistakes one could ever make.

A/N—Okay im sorry this chap is crap, I'm really really sorry. Then again all my chapters seem to be crap. I just felt like I had to update somewhat before I left. I'll be in treatment for a few weeks minimum. Depends on the state I am in after the two week minimum of when I will be released. Right now it seems like ill be in there forever. I need this though. I'll try to write some chapters while im in inpatient and so when I get out I can just update chapters at a time. Thanks to those who review. I promise I will be back.


	8. Association

A/n- I'm back! So here are the chapters I promised. I couldn't spend a lot of time writing so I'll try to get some more chapters up soon. Enjoy. Oh plus Review!!!! lol Thanks for all the reviews I have so far, it pushes me to write more chapters. 

*******

"Peter maybe you should talk to her?" Sophie implied

"What can I do? If she doesn't want to talk, then I can't do anything more then let her know I'm here for her, and I'm not going anywhere."

"That's not good enough." Sophie argued back and she walked faster to the head of the group.

By this time the whole group was walking together.

"I can't believe we have to go on this stupid outing!" Jules complained

"Ohh Queenie, are you afraid of being alone? Out in the big bad woods." Shelby taunted.

"Yes, as a matter of fact." Jules sarcastically replied.

Shelby turned her head away.

"Hey guys, why is it that the newbie never wants to associate with us?" Ezra asked

"Who knows, who cares" Came from the mouth of the one and only Shelby

"Shel! Guys she had a rough first week. I mean look at what she has done and everything, wouldn't you be embarrassed and ashamed?" Scott defended her.

"Well…"Daisy began but was shortly cut off by Scott.

"She blew up at us, tried to kill herself, and ran away…TWICE..I mean I wouldn't want to associate with us if I did all that."

"Yeah I guess."

"That's true, and it's not like we have done anything to really get to know her either." Jules commented.

"Well, so we are as much to blame as she is." Kat butted in on their conversation.

"Okay you guys, we will take a break here." Peter yelled.

Everyone collapsed on the ground, they had been walking since 6am this morning to say the least they were dead tired.

"Think we should hold group?" Sophie looked towards Peter

"No, just let them rest." he said.

"Hey!" Jules said while walking over towards Shaye.

"Uh..Hi" 

"I'm sorry I haven't been a great first week buddy and all."

"It's okay."

"No, its not, I should've introduced you to the group properly."

"No, really its okay."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Not like I have a choice now do i?" Shaye muttered under her breath

"Pardon?" Juliette questioned.

"Nothing, sure shoot."

"Why don't you ever walk or talk or associate with us?" She said rather boldly for herself.

"It's new. Everything here is new. I just need time I guess. Time to adjust. Plus I thought you all hated me. I mean…never mind. I just want to be alone right now, kay."

"Yeah, sure. But you know none of us hate you-we don't even know you yet. We all would like to know you. Well at least I do of course." Juliette said satisfactorily and walked off to be with the others.

Peter was watching their whole conversation and decided now probably wouldn't be the best time to talk to Shaye.

"So, what did she say?" The group questioned Jules as she sat down with them.

"She just needs time. Like we all did." Jules answered them.

The group went silent for a while.

"So…what is there to eat?" Juliette questioned.

"Why, most likely you will just barf it up anyways." Shelby smirked.

"Funny, but I'm serious guys I'm hungry."

"So am I." David said while rubbing his stomach.

"I think we have PB+J sandwiches." Kat suggested.

"Eww gross."

Everyone laughed.

"Look at them" Sophie turned towards Peter. "Look how together they seem. Can you believe that only months ago they were all fighting and arguing with each other..now."

"Now, they seem like a family." Peter finished.

"I just wish Shaye would feel like that with them, I have a feeling now is when she will need a family most. I think I'll go talk to her." Sophie suggested.

"No, let me." Peter got up and walked over to where she was sitting.

Peter sat down beside her. No words were spoken he just sat there.

"Well…"Shaye began.

"Well."

"Well, what do you need of me?" She questioned.

"Just wanted to sit with you if that's okay. You looked lonely over here by yourself."

"No, I was doing just fine alone. I've been alone my whole life-I can survive. I don't need you or Jules or anyone else you're thinking of sending over to protect me, I can do this myself."

"No, that's where you're wrong. You can't do this yourself. You will self-destruct alone. I won't let you do this alone."

"Yet you're sending me out into fucking nowhere to be alone for a whole fucking night and day. But of course you won't let me do this alone." Shaye began to yell at him.

"Language. You know we don't approve of that language here. Two-I…We thought that you would be able to last out here. The point of a solo is to regain yourself, and look back on the childhood that you had before everything. Before the drugs, violence, depression-before everything. If you didn't think you could handle this why didn't you tell me when I asked you?"

"I thought that was your job. Your job to figure it out!" Shaye yelled getting up and walking away.

"NO, my job is to help you through your problems and difficulties, my job is not to read your mind! Horizon is based on trust, I need to trust that you will come to me or Sophie or any of the other counselors if you have a problem. And you need to trust that we will do our job, we will do our best to protect you and help you through anything. You need to trust us that you will be safe here. We won't let anything happen to you. Talking doesn't make everything better, but the more you talk-the more you get your problems into the open the faster we can help you." Peter told her grabbing her shoulders and making her look him in the eyes.

"I'm not even listening." Shaye spat back at him and walked away to join the group. 

"Well that went well" Peter told himself 

"at least she is socializing with everyone." Sophie tried to comfort Peter.

"Yeah."

"Well, well look who finally decided to join in on our festivities." Daisy spoke.

"Daisy." Kate scolded.

"No, its okay Kat, let her talk. If that's what makes her feel better about herself then let her. Because really it doesn't bother me one bit what she says. She doesn't know me." Shaye retorted rather satisfactorily.

Everyone smiled.

"Hey." Ezra said.

"Hey." Shaye replied

"So…what do you guys do around here?"

"Well we play games." Daisy replied rather nice this time.

"And we play sports."

"And read."

"Really?" Shaye asked."Sounds like a really dull place, if you ask me."

"That's because you're new. You begin to like it here after awhile. You being to like the people even more." Scott said while looking to Shelby.

"I'm guessing their together?" Shaye silently questioned to Juliette

"Yupp, and me and Auggie are as well."

"Really? Never would have guessed you two."

"I know, the prom queen and homeboy-who would have thought." Jules answered laughing.

Shaye began to smile and laugh with them. They kept talking for the next half hour about everything, and Shaye felt for once that she was included as them.

"See, she would still be sitting over there by herself had you not gone to talk to her." Sophie turned to tell Peter.

"Yeah, I know. Still I wish I could do more."

"Until she talks…" Sophie replied

"Yes, until she talks there is nothing any of us can do. How 'bout we get this little hike over with so they can set up their tents, and get a fire going while it's still daylight."

"Agreed."

"Okay everyone! Break's over. Lets get up and hike for another half hour and then we will be at the main cabin." 

All was silent except for constant groans from the group.

Half hour later.

"Okay guys here we are. This is the main cabin. Shall you arise to any problems or are in need or help. We will be right here. Everyone's campsite is within 5 miles of here." Peter told the group.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Me and Sophie will be checking in on each and every one of you periodically. So you have no need to worry." He added with a smile.

"Great, we are stuck alone in the woods and we have to go through individuals with you guys…just perfect." Shelby said.

"Everyone got their barrings as to where we are?" Peter questioned.

When nobody answered he began again.

"I guess that is a yes, so lets head off."

"First off, David. Know how to get back to the cabin form here?" Peter questioned.

"Yes sir." David saluted.

They all continued to walk on leaving David behind.

"Okay Juliette your next."

"Okay, I know how to get back to the cabin. I think I'll be okay." She told Peter.

"No Jules, I know you'll be okay." He told her with a smile on his face.

"Okay gang lets head off."

"Scott, this will be your site okay." Sophie told him.

"Yeah. Okay."

"You know how to get back?" She asked looking at her map.

"Yupp." Scott answered her.

"good cause I don't." She joked with him.

Kat, Ezra, Auggie, Shaye, Daisy and Shelby all continued to walk off with Peter and Sophie.

"Auggie this is your site."

"okay."

"You know.." Peter began once again but was suddenly cut off.

"Yo peter I know how to get back." Auggie answered Peter without even hearing the whole question.

They all walked to the next site.

"Shaye.."

"Yah I know, this is where I will be staying…yes I know how to get back."

"Okay now that that's clear, lets go."

Peter and Sophie dropped all the other cliffhangers off at their solo sites.

*********

David's P.O.V

_This whole thing is a joke, I wonder what the general sent me in the package. What is the point of all this shit. I guess I might as well set up my tent, no point in sleeping outside when I don't have to._

**********

Scott's P.O.V.

_I wonder where __Shelby__'s site is? Perhaps I can sneak off later tonight to find her. I still don't understand the whole point in this solo, I mean some of us don't want to go back to our childhood. I always did love being around mom though, and when her and dad came to my football games. Those were the days. Why am I thinking back it will only make me angry. At least I have a fire and my tent set up-I'm sure David has neither done yet. Scott laughed and smiled to himself. _Well, let's see what peter has in store with us for these journals. __

_#1) What was your favorite childhood memory?_

_Well, this seems easy- Having mom and Dad come to watch me play football together, as a family. Then going to get ice cream after the game with them._

_#2) How did you feel when things were bad?_

_   Like shit. Peter wont like that, I guess I better change it. Uhm I felt alone, and angry._

_Enough of this._

_***********_

Auggies P.O.V.

_So this isn't bad. I wonder what mama and papa sent me. (Auggie began to unwrap his gift)_

_He smiled to himself, cars. My toy cars. I used to love these, play with them all the time. Before bro got me involved with his business. _A flashback of Auggies childhood appears and he is playing with his cars, laughing and smiling with himself.

*************

Shaye's P.O.V.

_Well, here I am. Alone again. I still don't understand why Peter trusts me alone in the woods. I'm so glad I brought my razor. Lets see what mom and dad sent me. She began to unwrap her gift. Pictures. Wow how thoughtful, she told herself sarcastically. There was pictures of her playing softball when she was little, of the family camping, and of her swimming. One of her and Tammy hugging each other and there was something else. "I can't believe I'm crying over something stupid like this" She told herself. Really she was crying because she missed those days when everything was okay and there was no need to worry. _

Peter and Sophie finally made it back to the cabin before dusk. They lit a fire and cuddled closer dreading the time when the clock would reach six o'clock. That's when they had to go back out to check on the kids. But for now they were more than happy to have some alone time.


	9. Restless

A/N-Sorry, bad chapter again. Just haven't updated in a long while, and this chapter is the result of a slightly drunk and dissociative evening. I don't expect reviews on this one. Lol. I'll try and get an actually thought out chapter up soon.

"They are all sleeping except Shelby and Shaye." Peter spoke to his wife.

"That doesn't surprise me, Shelby has been restless these past few nights. Daisy has told me that Shelby keeps saying Walts name in her sleep."

"Nightmares." Peter concluded

"Right on the dot Mountain man."

"What about Shaye? Any of the girls say anything about her sleep?" 

"Nope, that is a mystery." Sophie summed up.

"Well what do you say to us getting some quality rest." Peter said as he leaned in to kiss his wife.

"I'm." Sophie began but was interrupted by Peter kissing her once again

"All for that." She finished.

***

"No, stop it, please. You promised you wouldn't hurt her. You promised. Nooooo"

Shelby tossed and turned trying to escape the reality of her nightmare but to her avail she couldn't. She would have to live with this nightmare for the rest of her life, nothing would make it go away.

***

Shaye pulled out her flashlight and opened her journal Peter had assigned.

She finished the questions about her past childhood very quickly. After all her childhood was rather good. Nothing traumatic or serious happened. She had a normal childhood. Normal as normal can be. She began to write a fresh entry.

_I wish you knew, but you have no idea. It's not like it seems. I wish I could tell you. But I can't. You would never understand. Never. I feel this every day. This this pain. It engulfs me. It's relentless. I fight a battle with myself every second of every day of every week. There is no escape. I wish you knew. I wish I could tell you the problems and reasons of why I am this way. I just wish I had the strength._

She gently closed the journal and laid still for the rest of the night.

***

The next morning.

***

"Think we let them sleep long enough" Sophie questioned Peter while looking at her watch. It merely read 7am. 

"I was just hoping to let them sleep a little longer" Peter told her while pulling his wife in for a kiss.

"No. Peter. Peter okay maybe a second."

They kissed passionately for not long before they split and left their cabin to wake the cliffhangers. 

Peter and Sophie went to each campsite finding the same thing at every one. Sleeping cliffhangers. When they arrived at Shaye's solo they saw a sight they had never witnessed before….she was up and packed and ready to go. Highly unusual for any cliffhanger. But Peter knew she was different.

"You're up and ready early" Sophie said while placing her hand on the girls shoulder.

"Yeah I figured the sooner we get out of here the better" Shaye spoke

"Ahh I see the logic. Can't wait for a warm shower?" Peter asked, hoping that she would explain the real reason she wanted to leave.

"Uh yeah I guess." Was all he got out of her.

Once the cliffhangers were all rounded up they began their hike back.

"Meet me at the docks when we get back" Scott asked Shelby

He knew that all other students would be in class, except the cliffhangers because Peter usually tends to give them the day off once they come back from a hike.

"You bet: Shelby answered. Knowing all too well that she and he needed to spend some time together.

The hike back was rather uneventful and quiet. Nobody spoke a word to each other. Except for the occasional whispers and glances back. They were all to exhausted and numb from re-visiting their past that they were worn out.

Back at horizon, Jules ran straight into the shower. Who would have thought otherwise.

Next Shaye snuck into the shower as soon as Jules left. She turned on the hot water and let it hit her like knives hitting the skin. She stayed in there for a long time until the voice of Daisy snapped her out.

"Hey, other people would like to bathe in warm water you know."

"Yeah, I'll be right out."

Getting out she was beat red from the heat of the water. 

"I look like a fucking cherry." Shaye told herself while glancing past the mirror

She went to turn out but something caught her attention. She turned back to the mirror. 

There she was a frail girl. No taller than 5'3 weighing less than 100lbs, standing in front of a mirror poking and prodding at the excess fat she had. The fat that wasn't there but she thought of constantly. 

_How did I let this happen? I'm so big. I'm not eating anymore of this crap food here. I hate how I look._

She walked away. Satisfied.

"Whoa somebody used a whole lot of hot water. You look like a huge rash." Shelby commented.

"Yeah im contagious so stay away from me." Shaye replied while running out of the dorm.

She reached the door and collided with Sophie.

"You okay? Where are you going in such a hurry?" Sophie asked, making sure she was okay. Hardly noticing that Shaye's shirt lifted when she fell to the ground. Exposing bruises and the outline of her ribs.

"I just wanted some air, that's all." Shaye quickly replied while pulling down her shirt.

"Okay…girls group in 10minutes." Sophie spoke while leaving the dorm.

"Great I can't even have a shower." Daisy said upset.

The rest of the girls laughed and headed to the lodge.


	10. The letter

A/n--I'm rather sorry for the lack of updating this story. I've been without a computer for a while. Been busy. Okay, obviously this isn't going well...this whole story. So I think im going to finish it up. Not this chapter but soon. And it wont be good, but I can't manage to write anymore.....not like I used too. Until then...sorry for the shittiness. :\  
  
~~~ Sophie stopped on the stairwell of the girl's dorm. She watched as Shaye ran across the field to the lodge. She saw nothing but thin lines running away. She couldn't begin to imagine how thin she was. Trusting her instinct she turned and walked back into the girls dorm.  
  
"Groups cancelled?" Daisy asked hoping to be able to finally take that shower.  
  
Sophie stood looking at the girls, contemplating what exactly she would say to them.  
  
"Sophie?" Daisy spoke, noticing the absentness of Sophie's thoughts.  
  
She didn't know how she would begin but she knew that she needed to know the facts first. "Girls. I need your help"  
  
"What the infamous Sophie Becker needing our help...now what has this world come too?" Shelby questioned sarcastically.  
  
"Of course Soph what do you need" Kat answered while nudging Shel in the ribs.  
  
"We can't always watch you 24/7. It's just impossible, so we need to watch out for each other. I need you guys to watch out for Shaye. Until we can find out more. I need your guys' help with this. Me and Peter have been thrown for a loop right now, and your help would be greatly appreciated. Just make sure she's eating all her meals, and doing her assignments. Don't just watch out for her, watch out for each other. Remember your all a family here, you have each other."  
  
Sophie turned to walk out but not before she heard a 'sure Sophie, of course' flow through the group that sat in front of her. This wasn't just about watching Shaye, it was about giving the group some responsibility. She knew the group needed to feel that once again, and she figured this was the best way to handle both matters.  
  
"We need to talk later" Peter whispered to Sophie as she walked through the lodge. She nodded and walked towards the circle that formed near the fire.  
  
As soon as the rest of the girls arrived Peter began group.  
  
"Okay gang, since we all just got back from your solos, which I will be needing the journal on my desk by lights out tonight."  
  
Groans were heard through the group  
  
"They should already be finished, anyways tonight's group will be easy. I want you to say what your comfort possession is. That's it, no explaining just voice." Peter finished.  
  
"I'll start" Ezra stated "My comfort possession is a photo of my family and me"  
  
"Mines a porcelain doll my mother gave me when I was younger." Juliette quickly stated.  
  
"I'll go next I guess." Daisy began "I guess the thing that kept me sane was my medieval clothing."  
  
"Football" Scott simply told, yet it said so much.  
  
"My journal" Kat said. Cliffhangers looked at her puzzled, they knew she didn't mind journaling but they didn't know that it was her comfort possession. Mostly what they didn't know was that that journal has saved Kat from herself more than anyone could imagine. It was what she took her anger out on, her fears, her sadness and despair. It was her relief.  
  
"Don't got one" David said.  
  
"David..." Peter scolded.  
  
"Seriously I don't have a comfort possession Peter!" "I'm sure you do, what have you had that you always turned to when things were not going all that great. It doesn't have to be something you've had long, just something that means something, or helps you get through some feelings you may feel."  
  
"My music I guess"  
  
"That's good David" Peter told him.  
  
"Mines got to be my art, for obvious reasons." Auggie told the group  
  
"Picture of me and Jess and mom." Shelby followed Auggie.  
  
"Mines my photo album" Shaye said last.  
  
"Okay that's group. Lights out in 20." Peter finished with group and watched as they all headed to their separate directions. He knew Shelby and Scott were headed to the docks, its become ritual, Auggie and Jules went to the couch, so Jules could help Auggie read some more of Frankenstein. David and Ezra tagged along with Daisy. Kat also sat in the lodge finishing her assignments for tomorrow's class. And Shaye went outside.  
  
****Peter and Sophie's office****  
  
"I don't think she's eating" Sophie blurted, not even waiting until Peter closed the door.  
  
"What!? No it can't be, I've seen Jules' food journal. She's keeping up with the calorie limit...." Peter was cut off  
  
"Not her...." Sophie looked out the window towards Shaye, who was now sitting under the gazebo knees to chest. "her" Sophie finished.  
  
"What makes you think she's not eating?" Peter questioned.  
  
"LOOK AT HER!" Sophie yelled.  
  
"Yes, I admit that she's lost some weight, but she was really tiny before she arrived. And it's a fact that homesickness and new unfamiliar territories can cause worry and stress, thus leading to weightless." Peter stated.  
  
"I know, but NONE of our other students are skin and bone, none of them have lost that much weight. Peter I really think this is a problem."  
  
"yeah Soph I know, I just didn't *want* to realize it. I'm sorry I didn't at first. I don't know what's been going on with me."  
  
"She doesn't trust me.." Sophie told  
  
"Yeah I know, I'll go talk to her."  
  
Peter left and walked towards the gazebo. It was a crisp cool night. He approached Shaye slowly, contemplating what he would say to bring it up. As he got closer he noticed that she was holding something. He wondered......  
  
Shaye noticed his presence and quickly put the object in her pocket.  
  
"Beautiful night to, lets say talk? Eh?" Peter sort of hinted to the girl hoping she would co-operate.  
  
"Sure Peter whatever. What do you need me to tell you." Shaye knew that's all he wanted, was to snoop into her business again.  
  
"Not what I need you to tell me, but what I hope you'll share with me."  
  
"Sure Peter, no need to tip toe just say it and get it over with."  
  
"Sophie and I, we've noticed that you've lost weight. Anything you want to talk about on that subject?" Peter decided to ask her if she needed to talk first, the opportunity is there.  
  
"Just worry and homesickness I guess." Shaye could see that condescending look in his eyes.  
  
"Peter im fine! I don't have an eating disorder, no body dysmorphic disorder nothing im fine. Mind you the food in the café could be slightly better but I eat and im fine."  
  
"You don't look fine!" Peter told her, he was tired of sidestepping with this girl and figured it was about time she got told, instead of her doing the telling.  
  
"You look sick. You mustn't weight any more than 90lbs. Your skin and bones. I want to help you Shaye, I cant unless you help yourself as well. If it comes down to it, we will arrange for a doctor's visit weekly to chart your weight. If it's gone down in the slightest we will need to consider other measures." Peter told her harshly.  
  
"Peter I can't."  
  
"Why, nothings stopping you." Peter pushed  
  
"I just cant okay, you wont fucking understand." Shaye ran off running into the dorm. She figured if she couldn't tell him face to face, she'd write it. Peter would be reading their solo journals tomorrow anyways.  
  
So she began:  
  
Here I am, you'll never understand. I'm sorry I yelled at you tonight at the gazebo, but its true you'll never understand. Never. You'll never know what its like to live through my eyes. It hurts. Not wanting to wake up because you know that it's another day, another minute that you have to live this life. Wanting to end it all in one night so that you don't have to put up with this shit anymore. Being told what to do, how to dress, how to act...it's a fucking never-ending cycle and im fucking sick of it. Peter I don't care if you yell at me or put me on shuns, or send me to wood chopping for my 'excessive profanity' but I don't care, at least its distract me for awhile. Peter you tell me that you cant help me unless I am willing to get help. Im not willing because I'd rather rot and be in pain, because that means that at some point the pain will be unbearable and it will end...end my life? I don't know but someday, somehow im going to be pain free. And I can do it on my own. Because in truth im alone, so I must. I've been surviving my whole life and I can do it still. Wanna know my history? Would that please you more than anything before? Well here it is, hope your ready because it's a lot to fucking handle. Wait why don't I just say what I think of me. 'cutter, antisocial, druggie, worthless, alone, bitch ,loner, stupid, fat, ugly, horrible, depressed, suicidal, fat.' Now you've caught a SLIGHT glimpse into my mind, hope your happy. This is about tonight though, not my past but tonight...for your information I weigh more than 90lbs. And I am fat, and it's not skin and bones its fat and big bones. Its what I can't believe I let myself turn into. They thought I was bulimic, ha if they knew. I don't need help Peter. Im fat, I need to lose weight. After all dad would never lie to me. He always says 'your going to eat that..it will make you fat.' Excuse me dad but I already am. 'your getting fat Shaye' 'you got a POT BELLY!' 'your not as skinny as you used to be' Peter I don't need help, but I need to be loved. I've never had that. NEVER. Subconsciously I know they are there but not in my head. There not. And I'm scared of getting help, im scared of getting better because all my life all I've known is sickness and death...and im scared to get better because being sick is all I know. I'm sorry I've been such a pain to you and Sophie, im real sorry. Your probably wondering why im writing, truth is Peter I cant speak about this face to face, I don't even know if I can mutter the courage to give this to you. But Peter im tired of fighting an endless battle. It's about time I let go. Peter im hurting, im in pain. I lied. I need help. Please Peter. Please.  
  
Shaye quickly ran to Peter's office, knowing that if she waited until morning to give it to him, she wouldn't be able too. As she got closer she noticed the light was on, and saw Peter sitting at his desk...  
  
Shaye quickly dropped the journal outside his door and knocked once then left running for the dorm. Peter got up, walked to the door and picked up the journal....  
  
"Here I am, you'll never understand. I'm sorry I yelled at you tonight at the gazebo............ 


	11. Able to breath

Shaye ran, she ran as fast as her little legs would allow her. There was no way she was going to hang around outside Peter's door while he read that. But then she stopped suddenly on the porch of the admin building. She stopped, dead in her tracks.

_"Why should I continue to run when not 10 seconds after he finishes reading the letter he will be knocking down the girls dorm?"_ She questioned herself. 

She figured that no matter what, Peter would've read that letter now?she can't go back and change the past. And there is no use in waking up all the other girls to witness the yelling and the talks that she presumed would follow. So she sat on the steps and waited. Waited for the madness to begin.

_"Peter im hurting, im in pain. I lied. I need help. Please Peter. Please."_ Peter finished. Tears were beginning to well in his eyes. He had never felt this much for one of his students. Knowing this he felt sadness in his heart, wondering if he's the right person to even continue with this job. He can't help her. And he knows that. 

"I have to at least try" He told himself and rang Sophie.

"Sophie"

"Peter, what's wrong?" Sophie questioned after all she was sound asleep at their house.

"I just read something Shaye left me. I need you here Soph, I need help with this. She's hurting real bad. We both need to be there."

"Wow that must've been some powerful letter." Sophie responded.

"It was, I think you should come up here and read it, then we can decide on the best course of action." 

"Sure Peter I will be up there in half hour."

"Sophie I think maybe we should call her mother again."

"Peter lets not discuss this now, we can talk when I arrive okay?"

"Yeah, I'll wait outside the admin building for you."

"Love you, I'll see you soon."

click both phones hung up. 

Peter started to walk outside..he needed to clear his head before Sophie got there. Letter in hand. 

He walked out the door and leaned over the railing, not even noticing the girl sitting on the stairs beside him.

_"Please, I don't know what to do. It hurts me to see her hurting this bad, please tell me what to do"_ Peter softly said to himself looking up at the sky. His mother always helped him out, always told him great advice. Peter knew that he could always look up into the sky and talk to her. So he did. 

What he didn't know was that Shaye heard him, and she felt awful.

She breathed in heavy, tears falling freely from her eyes. She had to say something; she didn't want to hurt anyone else except herself. Nobody else deserves to hurt, only her.

"Peter" She spoke barely audible. 

Peter looked down to where the voice came from and saw her sitting there looking up to him with tears in her eyes.

"Oh sweetie" Peter quickly went over and hugged her.

Shaye practically jumped into Peter's arms. She needed that. She never had a hug from a father figure. And that's what she thought of of Peter. A father figure. One whom she could turn to if she could make herself speak.

"I didn't know you were here" Peter spoke finally.

"I?I had nowhere else to go."

Peter lifted her chin and looked her in the eyes.

"Come on baby, let's go into my office to talk. Your not alone, im here, Sophie's on her way. Were not going to let you fall. Were here to be the fence you can lean on. Were here, and we are going to help. We are going to fight this and beat this battle. Together." 

They both silently got up and walked into Peter's office. Normally Shaye would have protested, but she was tired of fighting the same battle over and over again. She knew she needed help and she knew she could get it from Peter and Sophie. She knew that if she were willing she would get better. And perhaps for once in her life smile and have it be real, maybe for once in her life she could actually be happy. She would never know unless she tried. Hand in hand Peter led her into his office. Where maybe for once, Shaye would be able to breath again.

A/N And that's it. Finished.Thanks for reading everyone!! It meant so much. -Shaye 


End file.
